It seems a commonly held view that all the bad things done in this world can be traced back to somebody acting out of fear. I needed to let that thought sit with me for some time.
Fear is undoubtedly at the bottom of most of what bothers us. It keeps me ignorant and makes me angry - mostly because I'm afraid of losing something or a fear of not getting something I think I should get.
The worst kind of fear is irrational fear - when I start to become afraid of what my mind tells me is threatening me. It is always nagging and insistent. And the more I looked at my fear, I discovered that most of it can be seen to be irrational.
Of course, there are things we should rightly fear - a gun-wielding maniac, for one. But I should only be afraid if he is here, now; never should I be afraid that I might meet one. It makes sense that I should avoid fear of future events at all costs. The Dalai Lama has good advice for anybody who worries: if it's a thing you can do something about then do something rather than worry; if you cannot do anything about it then relax because you cannot do anything.
But how to deal with fear? There's some self-help advice that says "face the fear" and carry on regardless. I found that easier said than done (which has been a common experience with many self-help maxims, by the way).
The good news is that I have found that fear responds to observation and awareness. When I see what is happening in my mind, I can see how irrational my fear usually is. It helped when I observed that I was often equally afraid of opposite outcomes of the one event - which underlined how irrational I was being.
Fear has and continues to be a huge motivating force in my life. It is so much less than it used to be but so much more than I would wish it to be. I know that a large part of my spiritual growth will involve addressing fear.
ReplyDeleteI was told that fear is essential. It is one of the triggers for our fight or flight mechanisms which are crucial for survival and keeping us safe.
One of the problems occur when my fear is directed at something in the future, ie something that is not happening now. The fear cant trigger a fight or flight response and therefore there is nothing to stop the escalation of fear. It easily becomes out of control. Fear is arising outside of the circumstances of its usefulness and therefore becomes destructive.
I have a lot of fears that have seemed very resistant, very hard to change. I am getting all the help I can in addressing that. As you say, it is often not as simple as "feel the fear and do it anyway"