The process of waking up - of being alive to the here and now- starts with me being aware of what I am doing, what I am saying and how I am acting. Becoming aware of what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling and what my motives are. When I became reasonably skilled at doing these things I began to see things happening to me as if they were happening to somebody else.
The first benefit of having this small space between me and what was happening to me was a greater acceptance of how life treats me. The second benefit was an ability to dis-identify with what had seemed to be the important things in life - putting distance between me and what I had viewed as success (getting what we think of as good in our lives).
Now we want to succeed in many things - like our careers for example - but if "me" identifies with that, links my happiness to my success then I have created a source of worry and potential for unhappiness. The same thing applies to relationships, sports, hobbies and interests ... I don't avoid them or engage with them any less but I stop identifying "me" being a success with my being successful at any of these things. If I can stop identifying with the label of success, then many of my worries stop.
If somebody I know succeeds at something, I can feel good for them. But it doesn't affect what I think of them. So I try to apply the same principle to myself. What I might achieve doesn't make me a better person - nor does failing make me a worse person. What I do or do not achieve doesn't then affect my opinion of "me."
Working on this removes opportunities to worry and from that comes a happiness that is most probably just the absence of unhappiness.
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