When you look at yourself, what do you see? I used to see a generous, friendly person, kind and thoughtful with occasional fits of bad-temper. I was forced (by the AA Twelve Step program) to take a long hard look at myself. Why, I asked myself. There was nothing wrong with me.
Oh, but there was. There was a lifetime of selfishness and dishonesty. And I learned that carrying this with me was blocking me off from the sunlight of the spirit. And I was blocked off from my defects because I had learned to live in self-delusion. I had kidded myself I was OK when the reverse was true.
Only yesterday , highlighting the change in me, I wrote to somebody: "These less important things included laziness and procrastination when I thought I had better things to do, looking down with contempt on people who were trying to help, lying to ... people I wanted to impress, refusing to do service when I felt it was beneath me. And many more, my story ... contains more mistakes than right choices because of my arrogance." I'm comfortable today at describing myself that way it's the truth, after all. And I'm comfortable that these are not old habits; when I do them now, it stops them being old.
Anthony de Mello in Awareness, highlights this problem of self-delusion as being a major barrier - a block even - to significant spiritual progress. And he unpicks charity as an example.
So how selfish are you? There are two types of selfishness: do something for your own pleasure is more obvious as taking pleasure from doing something for others. The self-seeking is obvious in the first example but still there in the second.
So acts of generosity where we derive pleasure from the act itself are still selfish. And, boy, does this sweep up a lot of my generous acts. I do voluntary work, but I gain enormous pleasure from it and it improves my self-esteem. Even giving money to charity addresses my need to be needed - makes me more important in my own eyes. I mentor people but, because I benefit from it too, you could say I need to do that - so it becomes enlightened self-interest. Selfish again.
Maybe I can do something that helps others, where I'm the only one who knows that I've done it. Better - but am I still getting something out of it? Is my pride affected?
The tough question to ask myself is: How many opportunities to help somebody or to be useful have I passed up on or just plain missed today? Watch yourself for an hour or so and be prepared for a surprise.
There's a third type of selfishness: that's doing something for others to avoid feeling bad, which probably sweeps in a whole load of seemingly self-less acts.
Now, this isn't to say that there is no way of acting without self. Clearly there is, but it seems they are few and far between. More important that we are eager to credit ourselves with self-less acts when the opposite was true.
This principle applied to every area of my life and it became obvious that I was defective in every area of my life. I had created a belief system about myself that wouldn't allow in any criticism. And until, I could hear the criticism and accept it as the truth, I was blocked.
The only way I found through the block was to look at myself and watch myself. The advice which I have found wherever I looked is: Pay attention to yourself and you will quickly see your defects.
31 March 2011
Agi quod agis!
A Zen teacher saw five of his students returning from the market, riding their bicycles. He went to them and asked each of them why they were riding their bicycles.
The first replied that he had carried a sack of potatoes on his bicycle. The monk praised him for having respect for his body and taking care of it.
The second student said that he loved watching the trees and fields pass by. The teacher commended him for being aware of the world and its riches.
The third remarked that he could practice chanting prayers as he rode. He was praised for developing a healthy mind.
The fourth claimed that riding his bike allowed him to live in harmony with all sentient beings. The monk was pleased and told him he was on the path to non-harming.
The fifth student just replied that he rode his bicycle because he enjoys riding his bicycle. The monk sat at his feet and said "I am your student."
From The Spirituality of Imperfection (attrib)
The title translates as Do what you are doing!
The first replied that he had carried a sack of potatoes on his bicycle. The monk praised him for having respect for his body and taking care of it.
The second student said that he loved watching the trees and fields pass by. The teacher commended him for being aware of the world and its riches.
The third remarked that he could practice chanting prayers as he rode. He was praised for developing a healthy mind.
The fourth claimed that riding his bike allowed him to live in harmony with all sentient beings. The monk was pleased and told him he was on the path to non-harming.
The fifth student just replied that he rode his bicycle because he enjoys riding his bicycle. The monk sat at his feet and said "I am your student."
From The Spirituality of Imperfection (attrib)
The title translates as Do what you are doing!
Are you here? Or are you not there?
At this moment there is only this moment. Nothing else exists.
Each of the mystical traditions points to being alive to the present, being alive in the present. We are encouraged to Be here now. Because the only reality there is exists only in this moment. All too often we are here physically but our mind is elsewhere, either in the past or in the future. Our goal is to bring our attention to the present.
How to live in the present moment? This is a constant struggle for the straightforward reason that I am not mindful. It is hard to stay mindful because it means I have to constantly remember. Harder still I have to remember to remember. Being mindful doesn't come naturally or easily. There are techniques but unfortunately they become useless when we get familiar with them. So we need something to keep us in the present.
As a sidebar, a good friend who was a practising Buddhist, left the US to come and head up a company in the UK. He was also an accomplished sailor so he chose to sail single-handed from the US - which apparently is extra difficult as the winds are permanently against you. His colleagues clubbed together to buy a present - a pennant for his boat with the inscription Be here now in Tibetan. He describes it as a kind thought but of no use whatsoever. The one place where he could live totally in the present was fighting against the ocean on his journey. Much as I imagine a racing car driver wouldn't need a reminder in his cockpit
The best advice I heard for keeping in the present came fro Prem Rawat, a man with amazing insights and one of the clearest and persuasive teachers I have encountered. He talks about Breath (among many other powerful things) and he invites us to view each breath as a gift. Rather than paraphrase what he taught, here is a video link:
My practice now is to be aware of my breath, one by one. Sometimes, I just count the breaths as they come, which is a great meditation technique as I feel the breath enter my body. Often I will use the breath as a prayer of gratitude and occasionally (when I remember) recite the Thich Nhat Hanh poem:
Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment
When trying to stay in the moment with such techniques, I don't worry when my mind wanders. I just bring myself back to the meditation.
Each of the mystical traditions points to being alive to the present, being alive in the present. We are encouraged to Be here now. Because the only reality there is exists only in this moment. All too often we are here physically but our mind is elsewhere, either in the past or in the future. Our goal is to bring our attention to the present.
How to live in the present moment? This is a constant struggle for the straightforward reason that I am not mindful. It is hard to stay mindful because it means I have to constantly remember. Harder still I have to remember to remember. Being mindful doesn't come naturally or easily. There are techniques but unfortunately they become useless when we get familiar with them. So we need something to keep us in the present.
As a sidebar, a good friend who was a practising Buddhist, left the US to come and head up a company in the UK. He was also an accomplished sailor so he chose to sail single-handed from the US - which apparently is extra difficult as the winds are permanently against you. His colleagues clubbed together to buy a present - a pennant for his boat with the inscription Be here now in Tibetan. He describes it as a kind thought but of no use whatsoever. The one place where he could live totally in the present was fighting against the ocean on his journey. Much as I imagine a racing car driver wouldn't need a reminder in his cockpit
The best advice I heard for keeping in the present came fro Prem Rawat, a man with amazing insights and one of the clearest and persuasive teachers I have encountered. He talks about Breath (among many other powerful things) and he invites us to view each breath as a gift. Rather than paraphrase what he taught, here is a video link:
My practice now is to be aware of my breath, one by one. Sometimes, I just count the breaths as they come, which is a great meditation technique as I feel the breath enter my body. Often I will use the breath as a prayer of gratitude and occasionally (when I remember) recite the Thich Nhat Hanh poem:
Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment
When trying to stay in the moment with such techniques, I don't worry when my mind wanders. I just bring myself back to the meditation.
29 March 2011
Highway 61
I'm going to write about God - more accurately about the idea of God. And in thinking of a title, I remembered the opening lines of the Dylan song - "God said: Abraham, kill me a son."
A pretty good introduction to the God I rejected, the one I was force-fed when I was younger. And then it became possible to reject any idea of God. Until, I was working on the Twelve Step programme of AA which was directing me towards an acceptance of and a relationship with God. Sure, they dressed it up as "a Power greater than myself" or the "God of my understanding" but I could see what they really meant. The problem, it turned out, was that I had a closed mind and that closed mind was going to keep me from seeing whatever else there might be around.
My journey towards the God idea is summed up in a story:
Our man is walking in the mountains on a clear day. But the weather gets dark and stormy and he loses his way and, far from the track, slips and falls down the side of the mountain. His fall is broken by a branch which he clings to firmly with both hands. Looking up he sees a sheer climb of about 100 feet; below him a fall of 400 feet to almost certain death. As the clouds get darker, and as he gets more desperate, he looks up into the sky and calls out "listen, I know I've never believed in you before, but I really could do with some help here. So, if there's anybody or anything there, can you please help me?" A few moments passed and the clouds parted and a thin shaft of light fell on our climber and he heard a voice say "My child, I am here and I will help you. All you have to do is let go." Our man looked down at the drop and then back up into the air and called "Is there anybody else up there?"
With many stutters and false starts I have today reached a point where I have a relationship with a God of my understanding. And it serves me well. Through this, I have become convinced of two things: first that God exists, second, that faith in God - or the idea of God - is vital for living as an awakened spirit.
On the question of God's existence: God exists in the minds of all those who believe in God. Which is probably the cue for disbelievers to jump in and demand proof. As long as we cling to reality and proof as the only way to know anything, this sceptical stance is justified and bullet-proof. But we might do well to consider the fact that there is much about the spiritual domain that is not real and is not provable - people have visions, miracles take place, people see angels, hear the voice of God and a few people gain Enlightenment. These things bridge two worlds - they are real but not explicable in a rational way. A good explanation I heard for this is that the domain of science and the domain of the spiritual world are mutually exclusive: neither can provide useful explanations for what takes place in the other.
So I take it that God exists, and that we have a choice whether or not to believe this.
In How to Know God Deepak Chopra uses probably the most appropriate verb "know" in his title. He also lists different ways in how God's presence is felt in our minds.
First there's God the Protector - like a parent keeping a child safe. Then, there's God Almighty with laws and rules to order our lives; Next the God of Peace keeping us from turmoil and confusion; God the Redeemer who understands and forgives; God the Creator who built everything; the God of Miracles, more akin to a form of pure awareness that feels joyful and blessed (very likely where "all is well and all will be well fits in) and finally the God of Pure Being, the one who doesn't exist but just is.
From where I sit, it seems that different religions at different times point to different aspects of the perceived God. Maybe it's a mistake to try to make God all these things (which might explain why I have a problem with reconciling the smiting and a'venging [sic] God of the OT with the gentle loving God of the NT). Mind you, I have a problem with many religions mainly because of what Jung said "One of the main functions of formalised religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God." There are exceptions but in the main organised religion comes with a dogma that is in the hands of church leaders. What use is a second-hand experience of God to me? Trusting somebody in authority to interpret the will of God seems to be the major problem, likely the cause of all those wars and hatred started in religion's name - farcical when you think that all religions have peace and love at the forefront of their teachings.
My personal preference in describing my knowledge of God sits in the last definition - a God of pure being, one that fits a world of infinite possibilities; I like to wake each into a world where anything can happen, where the things that do happen are limited by me and my unwillingness to believe.
I use a sign off "in love and light" to letters and emails for a simple reason; it is as close as I can get to describing what God is like for me. The love is obvious I guess while the light I am referring to is what some call "the Inner Light" or "that of God within us." The Bible encourages us to "seek the Kingdom of Heaven within." So it's quite possible that this is the best place to look. But in order to look within we need to stop being obsessed by what's happening without. We need to be here now; to come to the present and be still and look at ourselves
A pretty good introduction to the God I rejected, the one I was force-fed when I was younger. And then it became possible to reject any idea of God. Until, I was working on the Twelve Step programme of AA which was directing me towards an acceptance of and a relationship with God. Sure, they dressed it up as "a Power greater than myself" or the "God of my understanding" but I could see what they really meant. The problem, it turned out, was that I had a closed mind and that closed mind was going to keep me from seeing whatever else there might be around.
My journey towards the God idea is summed up in a story:
Our man is walking in the mountains on a clear day. But the weather gets dark and stormy and he loses his way and, far from the track, slips and falls down the side of the mountain. His fall is broken by a branch which he clings to firmly with both hands. Looking up he sees a sheer climb of about 100 feet; below him a fall of 400 feet to almost certain death. As the clouds get darker, and as he gets more desperate, he looks up into the sky and calls out "listen, I know I've never believed in you before, but I really could do with some help here. So, if there's anybody or anything there, can you please help me?" A few moments passed and the clouds parted and a thin shaft of light fell on our climber and he heard a voice say "My child, I am here and I will help you. All you have to do is let go." Our man looked down at the drop and then back up into the air and called "Is there anybody else up there?"
With many stutters and false starts I have today reached a point where I have a relationship with a God of my understanding. And it serves me well. Through this, I have become convinced of two things: first that God exists, second, that faith in God - or the idea of God - is vital for living as an awakened spirit.
On the question of God's existence: God exists in the minds of all those who believe in God. Which is probably the cue for disbelievers to jump in and demand proof. As long as we cling to reality and proof as the only way to know anything, this sceptical stance is justified and bullet-proof. But we might do well to consider the fact that there is much about the spiritual domain that is not real and is not provable - people have visions, miracles take place, people see angels, hear the voice of God and a few people gain Enlightenment. These things bridge two worlds - they are real but not explicable in a rational way. A good explanation I heard for this is that the domain of science and the domain of the spiritual world are mutually exclusive: neither can provide useful explanations for what takes place in the other.
So I take it that God exists, and that we have a choice whether or not to believe this.
In How to Know God Deepak Chopra uses probably the most appropriate verb "know" in his title. He also lists different ways in how God's presence is felt in our minds.
First there's God the Protector - like a parent keeping a child safe. Then, there's God Almighty with laws and rules to order our lives; Next the God of Peace keeping us from turmoil and confusion; God the Redeemer who understands and forgives; God the Creator who built everything; the God of Miracles, more akin to a form of pure awareness that feels joyful and blessed (very likely where "all is well and all will be well fits in) and finally the God of Pure Being, the one who doesn't exist but just is.
From where I sit, it seems that different religions at different times point to different aspects of the perceived God. Maybe it's a mistake to try to make God all these things (which might explain why I have a problem with reconciling the smiting and a'venging [sic] God of the OT with the gentle loving God of the NT). Mind you, I have a problem with many religions mainly because of what Jung said "One of the main functions of formalised religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God." There are exceptions but in the main organised religion comes with a dogma that is in the hands of church leaders. What use is a second-hand experience of God to me? Trusting somebody in authority to interpret the will of God seems to be the major problem, likely the cause of all those wars and hatred started in religion's name - farcical when you think that all religions have peace and love at the forefront of their teachings.
My personal preference in describing my knowledge of God sits in the last definition - a God of pure being, one that fits a world of infinite possibilities; I like to wake each into a world where anything can happen, where the things that do happen are limited by me and my unwillingness to believe.
I use a sign off "in love and light" to letters and emails for a simple reason; it is as close as I can get to describing what God is like for me. The love is obvious I guess while the light I am referring to is what some call "the Inner Light" or "that of God within us." The Bible encourages us to "seek the Kingdom of Heaven within." So it's quite possible that this is the best place to look. But in order to look within we need to stop being obsessed by what's happening without. We need to be here now; to come to the present and be still and look at ourselves
26 March 2011
All will be well
"Because of the tender love which [God] has for us all, he comforts readily and sweetly, meaning this: It is true that sin is the cause of all this pain, but all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well. These words were revealed to me most tenderly, showing no kind of blame to me or to anyone who will be saved."
Julian of Norwich
Julian of Norwich
24 March 2011
Listen, do you want to know a secret?
One of the big breakthroughs in my waking up was life itself. I got myself into a problem with alcohol and I suffered so much I was forced to confront the need for change. I began to take action and so began waking up.
Faced with so much pain, we can become "sick and tired of being sick and tired." Sadly, many don't and continue overlaying the constant pain of living with misery. We keep repeating the same mistakes again and again, day after day. It doesn't seem to occur to us that there is a better way, although often we are too afraid of any new way of living our lives. Even when some of us hit bottom.
There is a way out though, even if you haven't suffered enough to jolt you out of the rut you're in. It is to listen - that's the secret, listening.
It's not as easy as it sounds. Our belief systems tell us that we listen all the time. But we don't. Too often we're listening FOR something - maybe something you say will confirm what I already think; even better, you might say something I can disagree with; or perhaps I'm just waiting for you to stop so that I can get my bit in.
A good place to test yourself is in an audience: watch yourself and find out how much you're really listening, really paying attention.
It doesn't matter whether or not we agree with what we're listening to - that just ties us up in words and concepts, right and wrong. Which has nothing to do with the truth, nothing to do with YOUR truth. Because it's not something you find in what's actually being said. We glimpse the truth when people speak or when we're reading - an insight or an intuition - not in the words themselves but in what's being said or written.
And the truth of which I'm speaking is elusive, so perhaps it's better to look for obstacles to the truth or for what is not-truth. I discovered the obstacles that were blocking me from the truth to be character defects that I didn't even know I had. Some were so glaring that I had to keep telling myself lies to keep from seeing them but others were insinuated in a belief system that kept me blocked from the sunshine of the spirit.
It wasn't until the belief systems that kept me happy were challenged - smashed would be a better word - that I began to listen. And only then did I begin to learn.
Faced with so much pain, we can become "sick and tired of being sick and tired." Sadly, many don't and continue overlaying the constant pain of living with misery. We keep repeating the same mistakes again and again, day after day. It doesn't seem to occur to us that there is a better way, although often we are too afraid of any new way of living our lives. Even when some of us hit bottom.
There is a way out though, even if you haven't suffered enough to jolt you out of the rut you're in. It is to listen - that's the secret, listening.
It's not as easy as it sounds. Our belief systems tell us that we listen all the time. But we don't. Too often we're listening FOR something - maybe something you say will confirm what I already think; even better, you might say something I can disagree with; or perhaps I'm just waiting for you to stop so that I can get my bit in.
A good place to test yourself is in an audience: watch yourself and find out how much you're really listening, really paying attention.
It doesn't matter whether or not we agree with what we're listening to - that just ties us up in words and concepts, right and wrong. Which has nothing to do with the truth, nothing to do with YOUR truth. Because it's not something you find in what's actually being said. We glimpse the truth when people speak or when we're reading - an insight or an intuition - not in the words themselves but in what's being said or written.
And the truth of which I'm speaking is elusive, so perhaps it's better to look for obstacles to the truth or for what is not-truth. I discovered the obstacles that were blocking me from the truth to be character defects that I didn't even know I had. Some were so glaring that I had to keep telling myself lies to keep from seeing them but others were insinuated in a belief system that kept me blocked from the sunshine of the spirit.
It wasn't until the belief systems that kept me happy were challenged - smashed would be a better word - that I began to listen. And only then did I begin to learn.
A morning prayer
While working with my friend Marv on enlarging his spiritual experience, he showed me a prayer which he wanted to use as part of has morning routine. It seemed he wanted me to OK this for him to use - well outside my remit as a person, even when my spirit is awakened. Rather than offer any approval, I asked if I might keep a copy of the prayer and consider it for my own use.
And then the fun started, because when I sat down to say the prayer for the first time I found it impossible. In large part, this was down to a reluctance to say any prayer that I do not completely accept. For example, in the Lord's prayer, I cannot ask forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us for the simple reason that I find it hard to forgive so when I say those words I'm asking God to be tough on me as I am on others - something I don't actually want (although it might be good for me, come to think of it.
I kept studying the prayer but couldn't find a reason for the blockage. So I began to pray for the willingness to say the prayer and perhaps to be shown the problem. I was led to return to a Quaker meeting that I had stopped going to some time ago (for some imagined wrongs). I went, took the prayer and said it comfortably.
This is the prayer with my later addition shown:
God, [I offer myself to you to do with me as you will] Make me an instrument of your peace, fulfilling me with your love that I need harbour neither fear nor any of its manifestations. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do your will. Take all of me, both good and bad, that I may be ever more present in the sunshine of your love. Amen
And then the fun started, because when I sat down to say the prayer for the first time I found it impossible. In large part, this was down to a reluctance to say any prayer that I do not completely accept. For example, in the Lord's prayer, I cannot ask forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us for the simple reason that I find it hard to forgive so when I say those words I'm asking God to be tough on me as I am on others - something I don't actually want (although it might be good for me, come to think of it.
I kept studying the prayer but couldn't find a reason for the blockage. So I began to pray for the willingness to say the prayer and perhaps to be shown the problem. I was led to return to a Quaker meeting that I had stopped going to some time ago (for some imagined wrongs). I went, took the prayer and said it comfortably.
This is the prayer with my later addition shown:
God, [I offer myself to you to do with me as you will] Make me an instrument of your peace, fulfilling me with your love that I need harbour neither fear nor any of its manifestations. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do your will. Take all of me, both good and bad, that I may be ever more present in the sunshine of your love. Amen
23 March 2011
A bit of good in the worst of us...
When Rembrandt set out to paint the likenesses of Jesus and the apostles, he walked the streets of Amsterdam Paris
“Don’t you remember me? ” asked the man.
“I don’t think so, ” answered the artist.
“I sat for your portrait of Jesus, ” the man answered.
21 March 2011
Resistance
One of the hardest things for me to get over was my reluctance to waking up. I really, really wanted to wake up. I was looking at lots of books on mindfulness and about being in the moment. But I never seemed to move forward. For a long time, I would read a bit, start a new practice and the it would drift away and I would be back to spending my whole day sleepwalking again, worrying about the future or stirring over the past.
In Awareness, Anthony de Mello is adamant that we just don't want to wake up. We're too attached to what we've had before, to the things we believe make us happy. We may think we want to wake up, but deep down we don't.
Then the crucial first step is to admit that we don't want to wake up - to be honest with ourselves that we're afraid. And it's remarkable how easy it is to reject the idea of being fully awake, of having an awakened spirit. Herberet Spencer wrote about "contempt prior to investigation" keeping us in permanent ignorance; and it works here, especially when I can look at the lives of some people who live totally in the world of the spirit and find an argument as to why it wouldn't work for me. After all who wants to spend chunks of one's day in prayer and meditation. "That's not living," is the call. From ignorance, sure, it's not living. But from awareness, it seems like the only way.
Mankind is the only animal I'm aware of that doesn't live in the moment. Perhaps because we have thoughts and feelings and they distract us from what's happening here and now. Since most of what we think or feel is made up in our head, we're the architects of our own distraction.
So we need, first of all, to admit that we have resistance to being woken up. And accept that and work with it.
Have you noticed that there aren't many people around trying to wake you up? Please don't think that's what I'm doing because I've noticed that people who go around trying to wake others up aren't popular at all - the worst case scenario I'm aware of is getting nailed to a cross by the people he was trying to wake up.
Some advice I read argued that we shouldn't try to make people happy, it only gets us into trouble. This mirrors what Robert Heinlein wrote: "Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig."
In Awareness, Anthony de Mello is adamant that we just don't want to wake up. We're too attached to what we've had before, to the things we believe make us happy. We may think we want to wake up, but deep down we don't.
Then the crucial first step is to admit that we don't want to wake up - to be honest with ourselves that we're afraid. And it's remarkable how easy it is to reject the idea of being fully awake, of having an awakened spirit. Herberet Spencer wrote about "contempt prior to investigation" keeping us in permanent ignorance; and it works here, especially when I can look at the lives of some people who live totally in the world of the spirit and find an argument as to why it wouldn't work for me. After all who wants to spend chunks of one's day in prayer and meditation. "That's not living," is the call. From ignorance, sure, it's not living. But from awareness, it seems like the only way.
Mankind is the only animal I'm aware of that doesn't live in the moment. Perhaps because we have thoughts and feelings and they distract us from what's happening here and now. Since most of what we think or feel is made up in our head, we're the architects of our own distraction.
So we need, first of all, to admit that we have resistance to being woken up. And accept that and work with it.
Have you noticed that there aren't many people around trying to wake you up? Please don't think that's what I'm doing because I've noticed that people who go around trying to wake others up aren't popular at all - the worst case scenario I'm aware of is getting nailed to a cross by the people he was trying to wake up.
Some advice I read argued that we shouldn't try to make people happy, it only gets us into trouble. This mirrors what Robert Heinlein wrote: "Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig."
19 March 2011
Man kunto maula
I was introduced to Qawali at a Sacred Voices music festival in Regents Park in 1999. It was an amazing programme with a sikh group with 20 tablas, a hindu singer followed by Buddhist monks, then a gospel choir. But the performers who made the greatest and most lasting impression were the Qawali group, led by Sher Ali and Mehr Ali. I managed to see them four times in London and keep being bowled over by the song they usually open with, Man kunto maula.
Qawali singers are Sufis who sing to achieve an ecstatic union with their God. And in doing this they try to create something similar for their audience. If an audience member seems particularly affected by the song the lead singer will tailor the performance to that person, something I personally experienced in the Union Chapel the following year.
If you just give yourself to the music and the singing ... I often try to think of their singing as guided visualisation. I hope you find something to enjoy in the two parts of Man kunto maula, a song based on a hadith, i.e. a saying of Prophet Mohammad: "Whoever accepts me as a master, Ali is his master too."
Could only find video in two parts:
Qawali singers are Sufis who sing to achieve an ecstatic union with their God. And in doing this they try to create something similar for their audience. If an audience member seems particularly affected by the song the lead singer will tailor the performance to that person, something I personally experienced in the Union Chapel the following year.
If you just give yourself to the music and the singing ... I often try to think of their singing as guided visualisation. I hope you find something to enjoy in the two parts of Man kunto maula, a song based on a hadith, i.e. a saying of Prophet Mohammad: "Whoever accepts me as a master, Ali is his master too."
Could only find video in two parts:
Experiencing spirituality
Above everything else, I have learned that spirituality is a way of life. It's not something I think about or something I can affect with my thinking. Rather it is something I live - when I'm living live properly, that is.
Spirituality is the core of what I am. It affects how I perceive the world and how I feel about the world. And it affects the choices I make and how I live my life. So I identify fully with those who describe a spiritual malady as an inability to live life and find it acceptable. When I am not living in the world of the spirit, my life is difficult and makes me unhappy - restless and discontented. When I live in the world of the spirit my life becomes easy and I find happiness and contentment.
William James pointed out: "My experience is what I attend to." So unless we are paying attention we have no real experience.
I tend not, then to think of my life as a spiritual journey - that seems to imply a destination. Nor do I concentrate so much now on spiritual growth. Today, I think more of a spiritual search, much like the character in one of my favourite Sufi stories.
Our man is the servant of a powerful individual and one days his friends see him on his hands and knees in the middle of a hot and dusty market square. They cross to him and one asks what he is doing. He explains that his master has lost a valuable ring and has ordered his servant to search for it and not to rest until he has found it. His friends volunteer to help the servant and soon they are all on their hands and knees scouring the dust. After a while one pipes up "We don't have a plan. It would help to know where your master was when he lost his ring." The servant replied that his master was dressing in his bedroom. "Then why are you looking here, in the market place?" one friend asked. "Because the light is better here." replied the servant.
So my spiritual search is undertaken where the light aids my seeing.
In love and light, M
Spirituality is the core of what I am. It affects how I perceive the world and how I feel about the world. And it affects the choices I make and how I live my life. So I identify fully with those who describe a spiritual malady as an inability to live life and find it acceptable. When I am not living in the world of the spirit, my life is difficult and makes me unhappy - restless and discontented. When I live in the world of the spirit my life becomes easy and I find happiness and contentment.
William James pointed out: "My experience is what I attend to." So unless we are paying attention we have no real experience.
I tend not, then to think of my life as a spiritual journey - that seems to imply a destination. Nor do I concentrate so much now on spiritual growth. Today, I think more of a spiritual search, much like the character in one of my favourite Sufi stories.
Our man is the servant of a powerful individual and one days his friends see him on his hands and knees in the middle of a hot and dusty market square. They cross to him and one asks what he is doing. He explains that his master has lost a valuable ring and has ordered his servant to search for it and not to rest until he has found it. His friends volunteer to help the servant and soon they are all on their hands and knees scouring the dust. After a while one pipes up "We don't have a plan. It would help to know where your master was when he lost his ring." The servant replied that his master was dressing in his bedroom. "Then why are you looking here, in the market place?" one friend asked. "Because the light is better here." replied the servant.
So my spiritual search is undertaken where the light aids my seeing.
In love and light, M
18 March 2011
Wake up
George Gurdjieff was a challenging, paradoxical, and enigmatic spiritual teacher. He is chiefly remembered for an esoteric system known as the Fourth Way - also called "the Work."
One argument has it that in order to experience the spiritual we need to be awake. We have to wake up. Most of us are asleep, although we don't know it. Put more helpfully, we are not fully alive to our world as it happens, moment by moment. We never get to appreciate our lives fully ... our being. Or our human be-ing.
And all the mystic traditions, Buddhism, Sufism and Christian agree on one thing: All is well; all is as it should be.
Unless we are mindful of the present moment, we sleepwalk through our lives. And we miss the fact that all is well. We cannot see it because in our nightmare - where our feelings about the past and our fear about the future blind us to reality - everything is a mess.
At this moment, there is only this moment. Nothing else exists.
One argument has it that in order to experience the spiritual we need to be awake. We have to wake up. Most of us are asleep, although we don't know it. Put more helpfully, we are not fully alive to our world as it happens, moment by moment. We never get to appreciate our lives fully ... our being. Or our human be-ing.
And all the mystic traditions, Buddhism, Sufism and Christian agree on one thing: All is well; all is as it should be.
Unless we are mindful of the present moment, we sleepwalk through our lives. And we miss the fact that all is well. We cannot see it because in our nightmare - where our feelings about the past and our fear about the future blind us to reality - everything is a mess.
At this moment, there is only this moment. Nothing else exists.
17 March 2011
Carry that weight
I've never been a big fan of Transcendental Meditation but have remained a fan of the Maharishi. TM seemed to me to be too goal- oriented with the idea of blissing out or transcending during the meditation itself; the goal was to have periods where we are not conscious of the mantra we are using nor of other thoughts. The benefit was a reduction in stress and I wasn’t a big fan of the amount they used to charge either.
That said, I still will use the mantra when meditating. I have found it useful when there is a high level of background noise.
When studying TM, we got to hear lots of tapes of the Maharishi. One of his insights was in looking at the way we carry the baggage of our past – whether emotional or other pain.
He likened this burden to having our past carved into rock by our experience; to remove it takes years, maybe more than our lifetime while we wait for wind and rain to smooth the carving from rock. Think how much better it would be if our past were carved in something less durable, like a tree; it would erode much more quickly.
Then again, having our past carved in the ground would shorten the process even more; sometimes wind and rain would remove it in a few hours.
But much better still would be having our past carved in water, where the mark would disappear as soon as it had been made…
Or, how about your life being carved in the air?
16 March 2011
Reality?
"There is no greater mystery than this, that we keep seeking reality though in fact we are reality. We think that there is something hiding reality and that this must be destroyed before reality is gained. How ridiculous! A day will dawn when you will laugh all your past efforts. That which will be the day you laugh is also here and now."
Ramana Maharshi
15 March 2011
Seven deadly sins?
I had wondered whether there was a different way of looking at what we do wrong. There's a pretty deadly standard to aspire to in the Christian tradition, one that discomforts me, not because it is strict but because it seems to leave no margin for being fallible.
I was intrigued to find that around 400AD, Evagrius Ponticus came up with a list of traps for us – thoughts that could confuse our thinking and lead to a world of imagined reality.
There is a parallel with the deadly sins in the Bible, which came along a few hundred years later, courtesy of Pope Gregory. But the emphasis changed makedly. In the original, the emphasis is much more about gaining insights into the mistakes we make – where bad thinking leads to seeing things wrongly.
The original list of definitions made interesting reading for me:
1. Gluttony: Anxiety about our’s health or becoming ill
2. Fornication: Fantasy and obsession with the body – yours and mine
3. Avarice: futile planning for an unreal future – obsession with things that don’t exist
4. Envy: Obsession with the past
5. Anger: Clinging to anger and the resentment that refuses forgiveness
6. Self-pity: (Acedia in the original) where nothing engages our interest
7. Vainglory: Day dreaming about our magnificence
8. Pride: (really spiritual pride) Imagining that we can do things ourselves, without God’s help
Here I found a more practical code which keeps me in touch with my reality and with how I behave in this world. And a pointer to the encouragement that guides me towards an awakened spirit: Pay attention to yourself.
Meeting Bill
I recently had the good fortune to meet a Maori guide on a trip to visit my son in New Zealand. We had chosen a land-based tour which involved a trip to "meet" a tree in Waipoua Forest. Not just any old tree but Tane Mahuta, New Zealand's largest known living kauri tree. And the bonus was going to see/meet it with a Maori guide, rather than just stumble off a bus and take some pictures of bits of the forest.
The picture is of Bill and Tane Mahuta (no picture will ever do the impact this tree has any justice. It's over 2000 years old and 45ft in circumference.
Bill met us and took us to the forest and, asked us to wait while he prayed before entering. He also prayed on the way to meet one of his Gods; Tane Mahuta is the deity of man and forests and everything that dwells within. All through our time there he offered songs, tunes on a flute and semmed to be praying constantly. Irealised part way through this trip that this man was living what I aspired to - his life was prayer. He was so present in the moment and so in touch with his spiritual relationship with his gods.
Bill met us and took us to the forest and, asked us to wait while he prayed before entering. He also prayed on the way to meet one of his Gods; Tane Mahuta is the deity of man and forests and everything that dwells within. All through our time there he offered songs, tunes on a flute and semmed to be praying constantly. Irealised part way through this trip that this man was living what I aspired to - his life was prayer. He was so present in the moment and so in touch with his spiritual relationship with his gods.
As a result something changed in me through meeting this man. With a stand-out memory of my trip.
In love and light, M
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