Self-esteem or self-worth: where do they exist? And do they have any real meaning or value? It seems to me that there is a myth that our happiness is tied up to having high self-esteem. It cannot be because our attachment to our "goodness" will create dissatisfaction and disappointment ... which leads inevitably to unhappiness. (This is not to be taken to imply that people with "low self-worth" won't be unhappy though.)
Now what do we use to measure self-worth - Success, wealth, being popular? If our self-worth is a reflection of us in other people's eyes - if it comes from others' opinions of us - then it can have no value. Because we are basing our opinion of ourselves on another's judgement - for it really is a judgement.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother TeresaI am convinced that this is true. People who show us love do not judge us. So if we are getting our self-worth from others we are getting it from people who do not love us. And the same applies when we have an opinion of ourselves then - it is not coming from love but from somewhere else. So, in observing myself and my actions, I must be careful not to judge myself. When I see myself doing something that inimical to my spiritual growth - day-dreaming for example - I note what I'm doing and bring myself back to the present. No need for analysis or worse still brooding on where I "keep going wrong."
We do not need to have a view of ourselves, much less have somebody else's into our minds. Our lives are absolute - we just are. My life or my living of it are not better or worse than yours - or his, or hers. Nor is my life or my living of it better or worse than it used to be.
True happiness comes from not becoming attached to any view or image of myself. When I get used to just being I can observe myself without the need to rush to judgement. I can accept that I am just being - and not necessarily doing a good job of it.
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